


the four times cyrus almost confessed (and the one time he didn't need to)

by sebs



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: M/M, Set post season one, it's going to be a rollercoaster of emotions trust me, okay so i'm going to try to commit to this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-19 16:17:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11317071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebs/pseuds/sebs
Summary: cyrus might have looked back, but one thing he didn't see was jonah staring at him.





	1. The Spoon

The first time, Jonah hadn’t actually broken up with Andi. Well, things hadn’t really been officially labeled yet, but everyone knew they were dating. Which, of course, rumbled Cyrus’ stomach, and sent fear up his spine, fear both of Jonah’s reaction and Andi’s.

Which is why the first time was completely unplanned. 

Buffy and Cyrus sat on the same side of the booth. The only reason is because Jonah and Andi were sitting on the other side, giggling and probably playing footsie under the table, Cyrus didn’t care though. 

That was a massive lie. His head would pound constantly whenever he was around the two of them at once. He’d usually try to leave the scene early, and sometimes it worked. But today, he wasn’t going anywhere, not only did Cyrus have zero excuses, he knew that leaving would just piss Buffy off.

“I know I’m not in love with Jonah, but I’m just as sick of them as you are! Talking about Jonah is one thing, but having to see Andi flirt with him 24/7 is another,” Buffy sighed, before the two lovebirds had met Cyrus and Buffy at the Spoon. “You have to promise to stay with me. I cannot. Put up. With them.”  
  
But the thing about Jonah and Andi was that they were like this magnetic couple, everyone who knew what was what had their eyes locked on them. And Cyrus at least had his eyes locked on Jonah. So it was hard to talk to Buffy. And it was hard to stop thinking about his growing feelings for Jonah, too.

“Hey, Andi, what time is it?” Buffy asked for the third time in a row. When Jandi was around each other, you had to repeat words to break the spell.

 Andi’s giggles turned into words, finally. “Huh? Oh, it’s three thir--aww, Jonah, I have to go. I promised Bex I’d be home by four.”

Jonah smiled, his dreamy, loving, captivating smile that made Cyrus’ heart turn as soft as a marshmallow.

“That’s chill. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jonah said to Andi. She nodded, waved goodbye to her friends and walked out the door.

 A few seconds later, and Buffy stood up. “I should be home, too. I’m gonna see if I can walk home with Andi. Bye, guys!”

Even though he knew Buffy purposely left to leave him with Jonah, Cyrus felt almost like God was sending him a sign, right then. Cyrus looked across the booth to see Jonah, surprisingly just as happy as he had been when Andi was still there. That’s another thing that made Cyrus happy, was seeing Jonah as positive as he could be. Things had been hard for him lately, but with Amber out of the picture, Jonah was really becoming a genuine person. More genuine than Cyrus had ever seen him.

“So, Cy-Guy,” Jonah playfully punched at Cyrus from across the booth, and it wasn’t awkward at all. It was giddy and sweet, and every emotion Cyrus could feel coursed through his body all at once, “when are we gonna set you up with a bombing girl, huh?”  
  
Cyrus laughed to himself, finding not only Jonah’s ignorance to Cyrus’ sexuality funny, but enjoying Jonah’s words and the way he used them. 

“Uh, Jonah, that’s not gonna happen,” Cyrus said to his friend, hoping it would sound more self-deprecating than it would sound gay.

“Why not? Come on, Cyrus! You’re awesome. Any girl would be lucky to have you,” Jonah paused. “Wait. Are you still not over Iris?”  
The mention of his previous, Amber-associated girlfriend almost sent shivers through Cyrus’ neck. Is there any way to be over someone you had no interest in in the first place?  
  
“I’m totally over her!” Cyrus scoffed, pffttting his way out of that discussion. “It’s just, there might be someone else I like. But I don’t think they like me back, so it’s pointless.”  
  
Jonah immediately props his elbows up on the tables in suspense. “Wait, who is it? C’mon you have to tell me!”  
  
Cyrus knew what a mistake was. He had made more of them than anyone else he knew. But something about the air in the room, and the way Jonah was smiling at him, was making him wonder if his previous sentence was a mistake at all. 

Oh, crap, this is how friendships end, isn’t it?  
  
“No, it’s really embarrassing, I’m not even sure you’d like me afterwards…” 

Cyrus tries to lower his eyes, but they are immediately pulled back into the swirling whirlpool of Jonah Beck, and for once Cyrus wants to throw himself into the water, even if it means getting pulled apart piece by piece like a Japanese eraser toy. 

“Cyrus,” Jonah coaxed. “You’re one of my _best friends_ . You can tell me anything.”

There he goes with the best friend line. And suddenly, screw everything. Cyrus is already in the whirlpool, his eyes have been washed over by salt water, and he’s been suffocated with the fast but deadly circle of motion, and fuck it, he never even learned how to swim. 

“Well, okay, I know this is weird, but, but, the truth is--”

Suddenly his words are stopped by the sudden arrival of someone he thought had left. Andi, with her pinned up hair and her great sense of fashion came bouncing into the Spoon once more, stopping at their booth.  
  
“Hey, guys. I left my phone here,” she looked around before grabbing her possession, behind a napkin container. “Okay, this time it’s really goodbye.”  
  
“Wait!” Jonah said. “Can me and Cyrus walk back home with you?”  
  
“Yeah, of course,” Andi said.

Cyrus, topsy turvy, turned inside out, completely destroyed before he even had a chance to spit Jonah’s name out, perfectly and everything, could not bare to spend another moment with this couple, even if they were his best friends.

“I think I’m good. I haven’t finished my taters,” Cyrus chuckled, before realizing how slightly pathetic he was sounding. 

“Okay, well, bye Cyrus!” Andi chirped.

Jonah grinned at him. “Hey, text me later,” he said.

Cyrus weakly smiled as the two left the Spoon, leaving him alone with his self esteem and his baby taters.

Needless to say, he didn’t end up texting Jonah.

  



	2. Ultimate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final Space Otters game is just an hour away, but Jonah only seems upset, and Cyrus decides to try and cheer him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Thanks for all the positive feedback you gave me on the first chapter. I've been a little out of it, but I think I'm gonna finish this series, so here's the next installment. I'm not so happy with how this turned out writing wise, and Cyrus is a little out of character, but I think I did well with plot advancement and I hope you enjoy it!

Even though Andi had left the team indefinitely, she still showed up during games to support her boyfriend, and Buffy tagged along with Marty sometimes. Cyrus, as usual, was always there, and even though he made a promise to himself to never hold himself above Andi, he thought he was doing pretty well. He would make the team snacks (and make sure AJ never got any with nuts, and that Marina never got any with gluten), he made sure no one was under hydrated or too fatigued to play, and of course, made sure the team captain was in the best shape possible.

But that day, an hour before the game started, Jonah was in the worst shape possible.

He was on the bleachers. He hadn’t gotten off the bleachers to give his usual pep talk, and hadn’t run practice with Cyrus either. Jonah was so close to shaking, it pained Cyrus just to look at him.

Though he wasn’t so good at pep talk, Cyrus sat down next to Jonah, maybe a little too close to him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Cyrus asked.

Jonah shrugged evasively, before accepting defeat and looking straight at Cyrus. Cyrus gulped his gay feelings down.

“This is the last game of the year, and I thought my parents would show up this time,” Jonah sighed, letting his shoulders droop with the rest of his body.

The sad thing was that Cyrus could relate to not having his family support him. His parents always wanted to avoid each other, and that got in the way when there was something that Cyrus wanted to do with them, or when there was something Cyrus wanted to show them. But he didn’t take Jonah’s parents for that type, they had raised such a great kid! Then again, he had never seen Jonah’s parents at a game before, or any of his family really. Sympathy made it’s way through Cyrus’ throat, and out into his voice.

“I’m really sorry, Jonah, but you still have people who are there for you, right? Andi, and Buffy, and me. Even Bex and Bowie are there to cheer you on,” Cyrus hoped to distract Jonah with other people’s love for him, but he knew it wasn’t working.

“It’s not the same Cyrus. Have you ever wanted your parents to be proud of something, and they just weren’t?”

Maybe a little too much. Every time Cyrus tried to come out, his parents shrugged it off and acted like he was straight as ever. They thought he was too young, too naive. He knew too well he couldn’t get their approval.

“Yeah, I know how that feels. My parents feel that way about well,” Cyrus gestures towards his body awkwardly.

“Your clothing?” Jonah said, confused.

“No. My sexuality,” Cyrus said.

“Your sexuality?” Jonah repeated, even more confused.

Did this boy not know? Cyrus came out to Buffy and Andi two months ago, and he thought if Andi hadn’t told Jonah, he would have guessed already. Not to be that guy, but Cyrus filled up most of the stereotypes, and didn’t even try to hide the fact that he liked guys, or that he liked Jonah. Though seeing how Andi had to basically yell the fact that she liked him, Cyrus figured Jonah was usually oblivious that people liked him. Maybe he got immune to it. Practically everyone was into Jonah.

“Yeah. Jonah...I, I’m gay,” Cyrus said.

Jonah raised his eyebrows in a wee bit of shock. Wow, this boy was not even trying to hide anything. Jonah nodded his head back and forth. Don’t worry, he’ll be cool with it, Cyrus told himself.

“Oh. That’s totally cool dude! I’m, I’m sorry about your parents, though,” Jonah replied.

“It’s fine, I was just trying to tell you, well, you know. You’re not alone. That’s all.”

Cyrus placed his hand on Jonah’s shoulder, swaying him side to side. Jonah grew a small smile, and the two sat in silence for a while. Long enough for it just to feel right.

Then Jonah did something he rarely does. He took Cyrus’ other shoulder, and pulled him into a tight hug, patting him on the back. Cyrus just wrapped his arms around Jonah without the pat, because, well, he wasn’t a straight guy.

He couldn’t deny that this hug hurt him a little, but he also felt happy that Jonah was his friend. At least he trusted him, and told him when something was wrong. He wanted to trust Jonah like Jonah trusted him. The way Jonah trusted him with everything.

“Hey, Jonah?” Cyrus spoke without realizing, his voice growing a little dim after the first word slipped out of his mouth.

“What’s up, Cyrus?”

“I just want you to know that I really care about you, and I–”

“I care about you too,” Jonah interrupted, somehow not seeming rude. “And it still hurts, and everything, but I have your support to get me through this. You’ve already given me plenty of support. I know that I ask too much of people, and I’ve been trying to stop, so if I’m stressing you out too much, you don’t have to do all the stuff you do for the Space Otters.”

“No, no, Jonah, what I’m trying to say is that I want, to do all that stuff, because, because–”

Forget it, Cyrus thought. You know the reason Jonah keeps assuming that all this stuff you’re doing is friendly, even after he found out you’re gay? It’s because that’s all he sees you as, a friend. He wants to be with Andi, and if you tell him you’re just going to complicate your relationship with Andi, and your relationship with him. Don’t do that.

“It’s nothing. I just, I care about Space Otters. I’m rooting for you guys! Heh, I’ll see you later I guess. I should help AJ with his passes.”

Jonah smiles slightly and waves goodbye. Cyrus walks away, each step getting a little heavier. What was he doing? He didn’t know how to function anymore. Maybe Buffy was right. Maybe it’s not good to put all his effort into a guy who didn’t like him, who was dating Andi. It’s not like Cyrus was going to convince Jonah to fall in love with him. That sure as hell hadn’t worked.

But there was something about Jonah’s smile that made Cyrus want to keep trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you can't tell, with each chapter time jumps ahead a fair amount. This takes place, maybe a month after the finale? And I plan on the last chapter taking place a good one to two years after the finale but I'll make sure that's clear. Thanks for reading!


	3. Summer Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets don't stay secrets in The Good Hair Crew, and Cyrus is about to find out what that means for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you guys! Once again, as always, I give you my extreme gratitude for your support, and I hope you like this chapter. It's a little bit of a filler chapter but answers some questions, and is hopefully good. Next chapter is scheduled for Monday, and the very last chapter I won't be able to post until Saturday, and that should be a rewarding finale. Thank you for everything guys, and I'll see you later.

“Alright, Cyrus,  _ truth _ or  _ dare _ ?” Andi challenged, leaning against the wall of her own bedroom like she was the coolest girl on the planet.

It took a lot to get the whole Good Hair Crew together, including Jonah. Everyone was so busy during summer vacation, especially Buffy. The four of them had missed each other deeply, so Andi convinced Bex to let her friends, and her boyfriend, stay the night. Well, Bex was pretty cool with her friends, actually. It was more of the “do I really have to make food for four children” thing that became a problem.

And so, with takeout Chinese in their laps, The Good Hair Crew sat in a circle in the corner of Andi’s bedroom, playing truth or dare. Jonah was pressed up against Andi, and Cyrus had eventually become numb to it. So, so numb.

But, anyway, truth or dare. The devil’s game, but even a fool knew which answer was correct. Truth, always truth, but you can’t choose truth three times in a row, and you can’t back out of the question, either. At least, not while playing with Buffy and Andi, you can’t.

“Truth,” Cyrus said, confident. He crossed his arms in triumph, until he saw Andi’s face grow a tad bit too snarky, maybe even angry.

“I heard you talking to Buffy about a crush a few minutes ago. Who’s your crush, Cyrus."  
  
This wasn’t a question, anymore, this was a statement. Andi always got mad when Cyrus told Buffy things before he told Andi. The group had made a rule to always confide in each other, all together. Of course, this time, maybe that rule was better broken. Except, now Cyrus knows Andi won’t let him escape from this.

But Jonah was right in front of him. Maybe lie? No, they’d see right through that. Andi was only getting impatient, and by now this wasn’t feeling so good. 

Suddenly, Jonah stands up, walking towards the door. “I should go to the bathroom,” he said, then straight up left the room.  

Could this be a miracle? Maybe Jonah was just being a good friend, leaving Cyrus to deal with this alone. Cyrus hoped so.

Buffy finally stepped in, “Andi, you don’t have to freak out over this, it’s not about you, I promise.” 

Buffy is rational. Andi’ll listen to her. Right?  
  
“I asked Cyrus a question. Can you please just answer me?”  
  
Andi sounded more saddened than she did angry. Buffy and Cyrus had gotten closer since she and Jonah had gotten together, and Cyrus just needed to assure her that she was still his best friend. He just didn’t know if this was the right way to do it.

“You want to know who my crush is? It’s Jonah. I have a crush on Jo–nah,” Cyrus half whispered. 

Andi’s eyebrows raised and lowered like high tides. “Oh.”   


“I mean….I guess I knew already,” she admitted. “When you told me you were gay, everything kind of...fit into place? I didn’t want to be one of those people and assume, so I didn’t ask.

Cyrus turned to his friend, and surprisingly started laughing. Both of his friends looked at him, confused. This wasn’t pity laugh either. This was honest laughter. Maybe even kind laughter.

“You’re not mad?” Cyrus confirmed. His big brown eyes pleaded for everything to be alright.

“No. You’ve liked him for a while, right? I, I shouldn’t be mad. This isn’t about me, like Buffy said.” Andi paused. “Can you just agree not to take him away from me while it lasts?”  
  
Cyrus agreed, even though he was a little uneasy about the fact that Andi was so unsure about her relationship with Jonah. Shouldn’t she know better? Wasn’t Jonah straight. Maybe Cyrus just needed to stop asking so many questions.

“Hey, guys, what’s up?” Jonah says with that crinkly cool smile resting on his face. Both Cyrus and Andi immediately fixate their large eyes onto his, if it’s a competition it’ll be a long one. 

“Nothing. We were just talking about how Andi’s bad ears, and how I totally don’t have a crush,” Cyrus lied straight through his teeth. The others went along with it, to Cyrus’ relief.

Jonah nodded, like he didn’t entirely believe it, and Cyrus was sure he didn’t. They continued the game, with no mention of crushes or Jonah, or anything that could give Cyrus away. Cyrus needed to remember that Andi was his best friend before Jonah’s girlfriend, and that Jonah was Andi’s boyfriend before his crush.

And so they played, dare after dare after truth after dare after truth, until they fell asleep, Buffy and Andi crashing on Andi’s bed, and Jonah and Cyrus sleeping next to each other in sleeping bags, at the foot of the bed. 

But Cyrus couldn’t sleep.

He had tried to, but he was restless, and every time he moved over he was met with Jonah Beck, right next to him. He also didn’t want to move away, because Jonah Beck was sleeping right next to him and Cyrus knew there weren’t many times that would happen in his life. He didn’t do anything weird, like touch his hair, or kiss his cheek, or stare at Jonah for a prolonged number of minutes. He just sat there, constantly thinking.

Jonah was his  _ friend _ . The friend zone was something people made fun of, like it was such an awful place to be, but Cyrus was so happy to be there. In all his years, he never once imagined that Jonah Beck would ever be his friend. That Jonah would be sleeping next to him just for the hell of it. The thought did nothing but soothe Cyrus, lull him to sleep until he eventually woke up once more because Jonah Beck was sleeping next to him.

Bex’s footsteps had ceased perhaps half an hour ago. Cyrus read somewhere that the human body couldn’t correctly identify time past three minutes, so maybe it was an hour, maybe it had been even longer. All he knew is that on this night, he was alone. And he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

Jonah suddenly stirred in his sleep, his eyelids rolling back, resting his eyes on Cyrus for a second, and then longer. Cyrus didn’t do anything but stare with wide eyes, wondering what this meant in this very moment. He was very tired, yet couldn’t find a way to convert that exhaustion into sleep, so instead it ran through his brain and made his mind dizzy.

The human body reacted to lack of sleep the way it reacted to being intoxicated. And so Cyrus lacked in processing the fact that he had been maintaining silent eye contact with Jonah for at least ten seconds, and it made Cyrus’ head hurt.

“Hey?” Cyrus said, trying to sound like he had just woken up too, but Jonah wasn’t buying it.

“How long have you been awake?” Jonah asked groggily, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. 

“Not too long,” Cyrus said, sweeping back his hair in an effort to seem cool. He had to stop doing that. Getting used to Jonah was #1 on his checklist. 

“Cyrus,” Jonah whispered, “I know you were lying about not having a crush.”  
  
Cyrus suddenly felt completely awake. In shock, he shifted to the other side of his body, facing away from Jonah. Cyrus tried to remind himself that Jonah hadn’t said anything detrimental to his life yet, it would be okay.

“It’s okay, dude. You don’t have to tell me. I just don’t think you should lie to Andi.”  
  
The only consolation right now is that if Jonah knew Cyrus’ true actions, he might be proud of him. After all, he was putting Andi’s current happiness before his wants, and saving Jonah’s feelings. That’s something to be proud of, right?  
  
He still didn’t want Jonah thinking he would lie to Andi though.  
  
“Jonah, hold up!” Cyrus half whispered. 

He still hadn’t moved from his spot, facing away from Jonah, after all he would rather not make eye contact right now, with his face, so darn close to Jonah’s. 

“I–I told Andi who my crush is. I just lied to you.”

No words.

“It was too embarrassing! But, um, I value your opinion so I’ll go ahead and tell you now. Ha, um, I like, Gus? You know, the guy who was on Space Otters? Redhead? He has that Bill Clinton kind of charm?”  
  
Jonah laughs softly, the sound perfectly drifting through the noise night makes when everything else is silent. The wind rushing through the trees seem to take Jonah’s laugh to the rest of the world, cause everyone in this world deserves to hear that boy’s laugh.

“I wouldn’t describe him like that, but sure. That’s sweet.”  
  
“Eh, I’m pretty sure he’s straight.”  
  
“You never know, though. Everyone has a chance.”  
  
These words were a shock to Cyrus, and for a second maybe he believed Jonah. It’s just, coming out of his lips, every word seemed to click, creating some sort of signal. With everyone else, words were just words, nothing special, nothing there. 

“Yeah, I mean, I guess I just don’t know how to tell him, cause I’ve been hiding it for so long and maybe it’ll just seem…”  
  
Before Cyrus knew it, Jonah had fell asleep. The boy could put up with many the Cyrus drama, he really could. Jonah had listened to Cyrus talk about Beyonce’s twin babies for ten minutes straight, but he was just too tired this time. Cyrus could understand. He longed to get some sleep himself, perhaps in a world where he, along with everyone, has a chance.


	4. Coffee Shop Kind of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been over a year since Cyrus became friends with Jonah, and nearly five months since Jonah and Andi broke up. Cyrus is completely convinced Jonah could never like him in a romantic way, until Jonah makes a surprising confession over a cup of coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Friendom! This is my last update until Saturday/late Friday, so I hope it satisfies you. As implied in the summary, Cyrus and Jonah are at the lovely age of 14, oh, what an age. In the next chapter they'll be aged up to 15, so just be wary of that, and enjoy this chapter!

High school. For every reason Cyrus loved it, Jonah found five more reasons to hate it. The hard teachers, the lack of Ultimate Frisbee, the fact that their passing period was cut in half and Jonah was late all the time, the constant presence of _Amber_ (which in Cyrus’ opinion, was the only reasonable reason). But, aside from the boys’ different opinions, one thing remained a constant reason for liking high school: their growing friendship. 

When high school began, Andi and Jonah ended up breaking things off after they started drifting apart, but Cyrus fought long and hard to keep Jonah in The Good Hair Crew. It only half worked, but lucky for them, Cyrus and Jonah got to stay close. So close, in fact, that people began to question their friendship, the relationship between the nerd and the jock.

But that didn’t stop them. And every Friday, after school, Cyrus and Jonah would take the bus to the local coffee shop, and drink their problems dry.

“One white mocha, and a hot chocolate!” a barista called from the coffee counter. 

Cyrus looked up from his conversation. Jonah assured him he would get it for him, managing a smile out of Cyrus’ face. His phone buzzed.

A text from Buffy:  _ you and jonah want to hang out with me and marty at the spoon? not a double date. swear _

He slid the phone into his pocket, as Jonah walked over to deliver the drinks. It could wait for later, he figured. 

“There you go,” Jonah said, sliding the hot chocolate onto Cyrus’ side of the table. He sat down, foam surrounding his face because the boy was never a clean eater. 

Cyrus gestured for him to wipe it off, drinking his own hot chocolate in sweetness.

“You like it?” Jonah asked, referring to the drink in Cyrus’ hand.

He always made a point of asking this, every single time, even though Cyrus always orders hot chocolate because caffeine makes him anxious. It makes Cyrus happy though, because Jonah really does want to know how Cyrus is. In a way, it’s like asking ‘how are you’ but personal.

“It’s not as good as baby taters, but, not bad,” Cyrus answers, thinking about the text Buffy sent. The whole thing seemed a little too weird. Would Jonah consider it a date? Who knew.

“So do you want to go to the Spoon, then?” Jonah said, probably trying to make sure he knew what Cyrus wanted, which definitely wasn’t a turn off for Cyrus.

Cyrus was exactly fourteen and four months old, and had stopped seeing Jonah as the unattainable boy who most likely lived in heaven, but clearly hadn’t stopped seeing him as the beautiful angel Cyrus wanted to wake up to in the morning.

High school would always be high school.

Jonah woke up Cyrus’ thoughts. “It’s tater tots, by the way.”  
  
Cyrus furrowed his eyebrows together, placing his hands on the table with all seriousness, a huff pouring out of his nose, and a grimace on his face.

“We will not start this discourse again, Jonah,” he declared firmly, leaning back in his chair. Jonah chuckled to himself. For a while it was silent, the bubbly silence that came with being with Jonah.

“Hey, so I kinda need to talk to you about something,” Jonah said sincerely.

And every time he said something along those lines, Cyrus would assume the best until he realized Jonah was just a straight guy friend. Not to be confused with boyfriend.

It was hard, because as Andi and Jonah grew apart, Cyrus found himself stuck in that place of wanting Jonah again, which was a dangerous place to be. Sure he was happy with their friendship, but content? That was saying something else.

“Yeah? Cool. Whatever you need, Jo...Jo,” Cyrus stumbled through his sentence.

Jonah punished him with a confused look. “Cyrus, chill. You haven’t acted this nervous for a while.”  
  
_Just not in front of you,_ Cyrus thought.”  
  
“It’s nothing, dude, just tell me.”  
  
“Right, so it’s been like four months since me and Andi broke up, and, I uh, I started liking other people? People I haven’t mentioned because they, uh... haven’t just been girls?” Jonah paused. “I’m bisexual. Is what I’m saying.”

“Oh.”

This takes some time. Cyrus needs to wrap his head around everything, of course. Make sure he’s got his shit together. So, Jonah was bisexual. That was fine. So, Jonah wasn’t straight, therefore attainable. Therefore, Cyrus really did have a chance, as Jonah had promised some time ago. So, his perspective was completely changed.

“That’s awesome!” Cyrus exclaimed, witnessing a look on Jonah’s face that could only be joy

“How could I not be happy for you.”   


Cyrus decided he needed to be there for Jonah before he figured his life out.

“Thanks, dude, it’s just the whole things been kind of weird for me.”  
  
Cyrus nodded his head. “I get it.”  
  
Jonah stood up, taking his white mocha with him. Cyrus looked at him, wrinkling his eyebrows together and crossing his arms in confusion.

“The Spoon, remember?” Jonah reminded Cyrus.   
  
You know what? Cyrus could hang out with Buffy later. “I don’t really feel like going, after all. We can just stay here.”  
  
Jonah nodded his head, sitting back down and facing Cyrus. The two of them looked at each other for a while.

“Getting too old for baby taters, Cyrus?” Jonah asked his friend, taking another sip from his coffee.

Cyrus beamed at his use of baby taters, taking one last gulp of his hot chocolate before the cup emptied itself out. 

“I think I’m just...looking for a change,” Cyrus said in response.

And he was. But it’s not like he could hide from change if he didn’t want it. Everything in his life was different. Even Jonah. It was as if the whole world seemed to shift in that coffee shop, and even faces ended up changing. Jonah had grown at least four inches since they graduated middle school, and his hair cut was shorter, and his voice was beyond deep, yet his smile was still as bright as ever, still incredibly puzzling yet irresistibly tantalizing.

So maybe change wasn’t so bad, and things were looking up after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully i'm not the only one who can relate to finding out your gay crush wasn't straight and completely reevaluating every interaction with them? anyway, thanks for reading this chapter, and i'll see you guys soon!


	5. The One Where He Didn't Need To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah isn't good at doing things off the top of his head. Cyrus isn't good at confrontations. Somehow, they end up alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooheeee. this is the last chapter! god, this thing god to like 1,000 + views, and so many lovely kudos and comments. I'm thanking you guys a lot, and i'm really hoping this doesn't disappoint you, because i've been so tired recently and as much as i want to act like i gave you guys my best ever writing, i really don't have the energy or inspiration. but i do like this chapter, so i do hope you like it to!

It had gotten to that point in their friendship, where Jonah was downright startled that Cyrus and him had lasted so long. He was fifteen, and fifteen was the age of recklessness, the age of self discovery, the age of misery and assholery and getting away within cause you’re so fucking young. Why had Cyrus remained so loyal to Jonah when he was such a shit person?  
  
Jonah often asked himself that.   
  
He was never a person for long relationships, and definitely not close ones. Jonah urged change in his life, and people going and leaving as soon as they pleased never upset him before, until he was so so settled on this one person. Cyrus.

Which is why he had valued their relationship so much, and always tried his best to keep it one hundred percent intact. Until Jonah became impulsive, because that was something fifteen year olds were, too. They were impossibly impulsive, and on that day, sitting in that stupid tiny bus, on his way across his stupid tiny town, Jonah was dead set on something, regardless of how it would effect Cyrus.

Icarus would be proud.

Jonah’s spontaneous decision takes him to Cyrus’ front porch, his finger inching towards the doorbell, and his mind set on one thing. His life was about to change forever, he supposed. Was there anything Jonah Beck did that wasn’t permanent, anyhow? 

The quick ding of the doorbell rung in the house of the Goodman’s, and Jonah could hear a pair of feet racing towards the door. He was getting giddy now, hoping Cyrus would be the first one on the other side of the door.

No luck.

Because, when a hand pulled the door open, when a smile reached her face, before dropping, and when Jonah’s eyes finally adjusted to the face in front of him, he was staring directly at Andi Mack.

Now how were things with Andi Mack. To understand this, you couldn’t possibly look at Cyrus’ side of the story, that little kid just wanted everyone to be happy. But what Andi and Jonah knew was that their breakup didn’t consist of them just “drifting apart”, it happened because of detailed arguments they had, and a fair amount of them were because Andi was scared about Cyrus leaving The Good Hair Crew, the original Good Hair Crew, to be best friends with Jonah, and Jonah didn’t know what to do because he wanted to be best friends with Cyrus.

Messy, dramatic, middle school stuff but it shook the ground nonetheless. 

Both of them had kept their promise to not talk to each other, until now.

Surprisingly, Andi looked more shocked than she did mad, and after she stopped looking shocked she just looked confused. Jonah could see a scared little Cyrus in the background.

“Andi!” Jonah said awkwardly, looking down at his shuffling feet.

Andi clenched her jaw, and then hung it open, looking down as well. “I thought you were Buffy. Why are you here?”   


“I wanted to talk to Cyrus,” Jonah told truthfully, his eyes wandering to the boy in the far left, slowly waving at him. Jonah wanted to wave back, he really did.

“Can you wait another time?” Andi asked, her tone growing harsh. 

Jonah nodded quickly, turning his back to both Andi and Cyrus, and heading out the door. A little bit of fresh sweat hung off his forehead, and the impulsive teenage boy he wanted to be faded from his life until the bus came to pick him up once again.

 

(!!!)   


 

Time was a funny thing. As far as we all knew, it was essentially both fact and fiction, a concept the human race could barely wrap their heads around. For Jonah, he just hoped that with time Cyrus would forget about Jonah showing up at his house, so he kept himself under the radar for a couple days. That is, until, Cyrus showed up at Jonah’s doorstep on a Saturday afternoon.

Jonah was almost positive it was Cyrus when he ran to beat his parents at answering the door. As soon as he realized it truly was, he shooed them off, still worried about the soon to be interaction.

Past Jonah didn’t know what he was doing, and this Jonah regretted even showing up to Cyrus’ in the first place. He had built this past year around staying free of drama. And staying friends with Cyrus.

Would he ever really tell Cyrus why he was there that day? Should he? Jonah’s brain was just flooding with thoughts, and he didn’t have any possibly escape from them. The only thing he had was the boy standing in front of him, Cyrus’ eyes glowed like gold, and Jonah could feel his stomach getting queasy.

“Hey,” is all Jonah said.

“Hi,” is all Cyrus started with. But then his breath took a stop, and Jonah didn’t even realize Cy was breathing so loudly. “You came over to my house on Thursday, and I thought I could make up for it since we didn’t get the chance to hang out.”  
  
Jonah looked to the right side of Cyrus to see a bag in his hand, and a bag of cheese puffs sticking out of it. The crners of his mouth began to smile on their own, in a way where even Jonah couldn’t control what his mouth was doing. Cyrus took notice, a stutter beginning to form from his lips.

“I–I also brought nutritious snacks for us! And I know nobody watches DVDs anymore, but I have an Amazon account we can watch movies on!”

Something like pure joy struck Jonah heavy in the heart, but guilt also managed to spread it’s way into Jonah’s mind. 

_ Cyrus goes through too much to please someone like you. Everyone knows you don’t deserve him. _

“Cyrus–” Jonah said, but Cyrus stopped Jonah before he could speak any further.

“Jonah, I know you would normally tell me you were coming over, but you didn’t. What’s going on? What did you want to tell me?”  
  
A lump formed in Jonah’s throat. The silence around them thickened, even if the background noise from Jonah’s family increased in volume. Jonah rubbed his shoes together, but no response. Cyrus clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, but nothing escaped him either. 

Gosh, teenage boys.

“Cyrus, it was nothing,” Jonah promised, hoping that he believed what he was saying.

“Jonah, do you want to get back together with Andi?” Cyrus asked. His friend stared at him with a confused gaze.

“I–no–I–Cyrus, Andi happened a long time ago–I–I’m over her now.”  
  
“Really? Because she explained some stuff to me, and I’m fine with not being friends with you if that makes you happy.”  
  
Stupid teenage boys. When they’re not impulsive, they’re anxious and dumb. And Jonah was all three.

In a midst of honest to god shock, Jonah took two more steps towards Cyrus, and took both sides of Cyrus’ face in his hands. Cyrus gasped, dropping the bag down. Jonah couldn’t breathe.

“What am I doing,” Jonah asked himself out loud. He stared at Cyrus, who was awkwardly looking down at the ground.

“Jonah. Please get your hands off my face,” he murmured, and Jonah obliged, letting the awkward simmer into the air.

“Can you just tell me what’s up? I know something is.”  
  
“I really can’t.”  
  
“Jonah–”  


“It’s for the best.”  
  
“Jonah–”

“Cyrus, I have feelings for you.”  
  
Cyrus stopped short. “What?”  
  
“Romantic. Feelings for you. I’ve had them since I broke up with Andi, maybe even before that. I didn’t want to tell you because I thought it would ruin our friendship but it’s been too long with you and I’ve decided to give it a shot because all I want to do is be with you. And I’m just spewing out of my mouth but I’m honest when I say that. I mean I don’t think I’m capable of feeling love right now but maybe if I did I’d end up loving you.”  
  
Everything happened but nothing new began. Cyrus looked more scared than anything, and Jonah didn’t know whether that’s good or bad.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Jonah said. “I’m not asking you to tell me anything, you can leave if you want I–”  
  
Cyrus melted Jonah’s lips against his before either of them could use up anymore air. It was a heartbreaking, loving kiss, heartbreaking because boy oh boy did these two want this for so long, but neither one had the nerve to admit it. 

Some part of them knew at some point they would have to end, but they weren’t planning on it any time soon.

It wasn’t a good kiss, mind you. Their teeth banged together too many times, more like a bullet shattering a glass window than two champagne glasses clinking in toast. Neither of them knew where to move their lips after every move, and sometimes they’d be in sync, and sometimes it was like they were melding into one human, or trying to swallow each other. Neither of them had kissed a guy before. But neither of them wanted to give up.

Being good at kissing meant dedication, and these loverboys had practically exchanged vows.

Jonah didn’t worry about where his parents were in this moment, despite that being a very useful thought right now. Cyrus threw his arms around Jonah’s neck, and pressed his forehead against Jonah’s, breaking away from the kiss.

“I could end up loving you,” Cyrus admitted. Skip,  _ too _ . Fuck,  _ too _ . This was more than a favor, or a reply.

This was a confession, even if it was unnecessary. 

In the end, Cyrus and Jonah ended up hugging for a very long time on that porch. Even longer than they ended up kissing.

And it was all because they were fifteen, and silly and stupid and impulsive. Cause they were little mortals who were told they could walk like gods, and ended up walking hand and hand with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! so this will be the last chapter, but if you guys want to check out more of my writing, you can stick around and see what else i post on here (am wise i plan on writing muffy and maybe some character stuff and maybe more jyrus. non am wise i plan on writing the get down, voltron, because you'll never meet me, power rangers 2017 and maybe even shadowhunters stuff??) or you can also follow my tumblr. it's @halfmoongay and i try to post andi mack stuff as much as i can, but i also have a small "my poetry" tag i plan on adding more stuff to. thanks so much for reading, by the way!


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